I
have recently had conflict with my younger sister. She is 14 and she is not as
respectful towards our parents as she should be. For example, the other day
they told her to clean her room multiple times. She kept telling them, “okay.”
I passed by her room and saw that she was sitting on her bed using her I-Pad
and cell phone. I heard my parents talking about her behavior. I took it upon
myself to make her do what my parents told her to do. I feel like I turned into
her parent and not her sister. Before I knew it, we were arguing and were not
being nice to each other. I now realize that this could have been avoided if I approached
her in a different manner. I am glad that I learned about different skills to
handle conflicts. The strategies I will use in future conflicts with her are
the 3 R’s (respect, reciprocal, and responsive interactions) and the 3S Skills
(See, Listen, and Speak) from the third side. Implementing these strategies
while engaged in a conflict will help me help the situation.
Does anyone think that these strategies will
work in future conflicts such as this? If not, which strategy/strategies do you
suggest?
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI do believe that those strategies will work. I also think you should negotiate with her. For instance, you should take her I-pad and phone away from her and insist that the only way she will get it back is by cleaning her room. Sure she will be upset about it, since these are things that kids and teenagers love to have! Before you do this, you should explain to your parents why you are taking these things from her. I think you both will have what you want at the end! I negotiate with my nieces and nephews all the time; It actually works!
Latasha
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteYes I do believe that those strategies will work. The 3R's are great to use.Positive attitude and communication will help build better relationships and more effective communication in any situation. NVC creates human connections that empower compassionate giving and receiving (The Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.). NVC not only focuses on an issue or problem, it focuses on the person as a whole. NVC helps people use their compassion, trust, empathy, and a true understanding of the `heart` of the problem. With NVC we can learn to be more compassionate and effective communicators.
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing about the conflict you had with your younger sister. I can definitely see how you would get annoyed with your sister's behavior, which caused you to go into her room and make her do what she was told. I often times find myself getting on my twin brother for his lack of respect for our mom, who does everything in her mind for us. I think the 3 R's would really work with her and trying to reinforce what your parents ask of her. Maybe try relating to her on something for before getting on her about doing her chores. Remind her that her I-pad and cell phone can be easily removed for not doing what her parents ask and then she wouldn't be able to talk to her friends. Teenagers are the hardest crowd to work with. My niece is 13 years old, she will be 14 next week, but I have found that incentives get her to do what I ask. Hope everything works out for you and your sister.
Shayla
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI think the 3 R's and the 3S Skills will work in future conflicts. I remember being in similar situations with my sisters. I also feel bad jumping into a situation that is not about me but I completely understand why you did. We try to help others but in the end we end up causing another situation to occur. I do not think it is your place to take away your sisters things because that is more a parents role, however maybe you could have negotiated and offered her some help cleaning her room in return for maybe her to help you with something. That way her room was being cleaned like your parents wanted and then you could receive help with one of your tasks or chores. Just an idea. Good luck with the implementation of your strategies.
Hi Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI do think that these strategies will work in future conflicts. I am the oldest daughter and I find myself in similar situations. I do not speak to my younger sisters as though I am the parent, I approach them as an older sister. It seems to work. I still relay messages about how my parents are feeling about issues regarding them, but they listen to me because of how I approach them. Thanks for sharing.
Wow many big sisters here. Ashley I too am the eldest and I have found myself in many situations similar to the one you shared. I too am thinking of applying those strategies in the future to improve the communication with my younger siblings. I think they will work. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete